Trusting the process of moving

Today marks a momentous occasion for my wife and I: we have moved to our first home! Both of us grew up in the woods, and getting to live there again is such a blessing in this time of isolation. We hope to bring back to the world more than what it has given us – and that seems like a very tall ask, but we are up for it – because homeownership is a huge privilege and we intend to do the most we can with it for the world.

But, this post isn’t about pride of homeownership, or why it’s a quick way for white supremacy to continue to tip the scales in favor of white folk, (see Spotlight’s research that the average net worth of black Bostonians is $8. Yep, you read that right.) This is a reflection about trusting the process.

At my first job, my boss warned me – don’t make a lot of change at one time in your life – because all of these stressors can be fairly traumatic, and having more than one at a time really compounds the trauma you have to be resilient against. I think moving is right up there with high stress events, but we just got married – in a much smaller fashion than originally intended – but this did leave behind some meticulously saved cheddar for us to put toward our house. Thus, Amanda and I vowed to trust the process – we’d do the very best we could to follow a process, and then try not to sweat the small stuff.

Apparently the term “trust the process” means a lot in sports circles, I remember hearing about it from my old boss, Mike Gilronan – something about the 76ers fans chanting – and then watching a documentary about it. Seems like the term peaked around 2017 in Google Trends. I’m no sports expert – but on this – they’re definitely right.

The process doesn’t have to be difficult with a little planning and relying on the expertise of others who have been there before you

This really comes down to a few things: hiring or consulting experts who can help you not bungle up all of the things you rely on in your household.

Processes we did we’d do again:

• Start by consulting a printable step-by-step moving list – (there are many online) – and start thinking about the major things you’re going to need to do.
• Keep all your most important items with you at all times – and keep them organized so you can find that checkbook or maybe a few stamps. Move this thing first on your person. Create photocopies of all of your wallet information so that should your wallet get lost, you aren’t stuck being unable to pay a bill.
• Rent some really kick-butt boxes if you have a lot of stuff. We rented some monoflo boxes from Box Save. They give the contents some rigidity and are nice and clean and easily stacked.
• Create some sort of a labelling scheme for your boxes. Once you get all those boxes that look identical, this might be the thing that helps you find the needle in the haystack. Use highlighter on the items that you need first – like lamps and wifi equipment – so you can get that out and configured first. (Pro tip if you have a blue light – as this make that stuff stand out even more) We started with colored masking tape and a simple naming scheme for each room in our house – and some simple inexpensive Avery labels. Don’t go nuts – this is just something to help organize the load relative to where it’s going before you even get there.
• Clean the new space before moving in. Nobody likes to look at those dust bunnies and baked on brownie batter in the oven from the last owner, no matter how clean they were. This really set our mind at ease that our space we were moving in to was in tip top shape. Set aside some extra time before you move to do this if you’re doing it yourself.
• If you can, hire or consult experts to do some of the methodical tasks that are very important for you. We were blessed with extra cushion in our budget from our wedding, so we hired a local cleaning crew to help us get everything spotless before we moved in. This was a case of trusting a crew that thought to clean way more than I would have even thought to – and they were incredibly efficient. We also had extra room in the budget for movers. They are masters at the game of Tetris that is filling up a truck without breaking things. I’ve moved myself into quite a few places – and this was truly a lifesaver – because they know exactly how to lift and pack each item – saving me the time of cussing myself out for messing up a few precious things.
• Be actually helpful to the experts. This is not the time to stand over your locksmith’s shoulder and ask them millions of questions about the tools of their trade. Do your work ahead of time – pack neatly and in an organized fashion. Do your research. When the experts come, stay out of their way and keep them hydrated and happy. Remember – these people are experts because they put in a lot of hard work, learning and time into their trade. If you can’t afford to tip them well – consider saving so that you can – because that knowledge of having been there before is the thing saving your sanity.

I hope that if you ever end up moving, something here inspires you to either make the process easier or trust it. Be kind to each other, those who help you, and don’t forget to be kind to yourself! With a little planning, process really makes (this dare I even say) enjoyable when your move actually occurs. Something traumatic and exhausting can be reduced in scope.